urgent · do not ignore

stop the press.

a birthday has been reported in the area.

vol. 23birthday edition₹ 1 samosa

The Daily Menace

local menace turns 23.

city in shock. her bestie: "honestly, not surprised."

the birthday menace

pictured: suspect, unbothered, already asking where the cake is.

neighbours report loud singing since midnight

inside: her crimes, exposed

page 2 →
exclusive

her crimes, exposed.

tap the black bars. we have receipts.

  1. says "5 min away" while still in the shower.

  2. replied "haha" to my entire trauma dump.

  3. "i'm not hungry" → eats all my fries.

  4. has 47 screenshots of my chats. as "evidence".

  5. cried at a dog food ad. twice. same ad.

  6. still the first person i call. every single time.

guilty
& loved

exhibit a, b & c

photo evidence.

tap each photo to mark the suspect

evidence one

laughing at her own joke

evidence two

3am. no shame.

evidence three

when i ate her fries

reader poll

do we keep her another year?

vote now. lines close at midnight.

yes, obviously ........ 100%

yes, forever .......... 100%

no ..................... 0%

the people have spoken.

final editionlate-night printno refunds

happy birthday

approved · forever

Riya

officially the best menace alive. long may she reign.

— your bestie (unfortunately)