day
1
↳ 11:47pm · denial era
"i'm fine. totally fine."
spoiler: i'm not fine. ate cereal for dinner. cried into ur side of the bed. but i'm fine.
a tiny meltdown ~
if you leave
me…
imma be so unwell just so u know.
like, medically. it's documented below 🥺
exhibit a ~
my heart on a monitor
the doctors said it's serious. i said it's u 🥲
with you 💗
↳ status: thriving
♥ 72 bpm
↳ steady. happy. obnoxious.
without you 🥀
↳ status: rip
— 0 bpm
↳ flatline. send help. or you.
see?? this is medical evidence.
u can't argue with science 💔
heart forecast ~
today's vibes
weather is u-dependent btw 🌦️
↳ when ur here
100% ✨
sunny & perfect
- vibes: immaculate
- mood: serotonin overload
- brain: full of u
- chance of giggling: high
- heart: doing lil backflips
- snacks: taste better w u
💧
💧
💧
💧
💧
↳ if u leave
0% 🥀
storm + ✨me crying✨
- vibes: cancelled
- mood: cereal at 3am
- brain: 404 not found
- chance of giggling: zero
- sky: crying w me fr
- snacks: flavorless dust
casualty list ~
stuff that dies with u
this is just the official list. there's more 😶🌫️
rip
☕
my morning coffee
tastes bitter forever. (made with tears now.)
gone
🎧
my playlist
only sad songs work. taylor's version. on loop.
404
🛌
my sleep schedule
replaced with overthinking. at 3am. every night.
dead
🤡
my sense of humor
last seen laughing at ur dumb joke. never again.
over
👕
my outfits
just ur hoodie. all day. for legal reasons.
bye
🍝
my appetite
eating? in this economy? without u? lol no.
lost
📱
my phone battery
dead from checking if u texted. every 4 seconds.
nope
🌤️
my good mornings
who am i even texting first now?? the weather app??
sad
🎬
movie nights
pausing to explain the plot to no one. tragic cinema.
quit
🧠
my last brain cell
it only worked bc u laughed at it. it resigned too.
evidence room ~
stuff i'd cry over
i'd just sit and stare at these. for hours. don't make me 🥺
— first dumb selfie 💕
(i'd lose it.)
— that golden hour 🌅
(unbeatable.)
— ur stupid laugh 🥹
(my fav sound.)
— us being us 💗
(no caption needed.)
— that one rainy day ☔
(peak romance.)
— snack date supremacy 🍟
(we ate.)
— ur sleepy face 😴
(illegal levels of cute.)
— random tuesday magic ✨
(my fav kind.)
imagine i just had these.
and not u. catastrophic actually 😭
a hypothetical diary ~
if you actually did leave
here's how it'd go (i regret writing this) ↓
day
3
↳ 2:14am · the smell era
"ur hoodie is losing it 😭"
slept in it 3 nights in a row. it doesn't smell like u anymore. this is unconstitutional.
day
7
↳ 3:33am · feral era
"i talk to ur photo now"
told it about my day. it didn't reply. concerning behavior all around tbh. send help. or u.
day
30
↳ 4:02am · acceptance? lol no
"ok pls come back now???"
i tried. i swear. i can't. that's the whole entry. i can't. that's it. that's the message.
day
60
↳ 1:11am · bargaining era
"what if i just... showed up"
drafted 14 texts. sent zero. stared at ur contact photo like it owes me money.
day
90
↳ 2:47am · playlist era
"our song came on again"
skipped it. then replayed it 9 times. the algorithm is bullying me and it's working.
day
180
↳ 3:15am · chef era
"i made ur favorite food"
set two plates out of habit. ate both. this is fine. everything is fine. (it's not.)
day
365
↳ 11:11pm · wishing era
"still wishing on 11:11 btw"
one whole year of the same wish. it's u. it was always gonna be u.
🤍
🥺
jokes off for a sec ~
ok but for real now
i made all this dramatic stuff sound funny
but tbh ~ i'm a little scared.
u became my fav part of every day.
my brain literally re-wired itself around u 🥺
so yea. losing u would be a real one.
like, soul-fracture level.
↳ legally binding ~
sign a no-leaving pact?
just one little tap. for my heart. pls 🥺
i, ___________, hereby pinky promise to never...
✓ signed. forever.
↳ tap to make it official. no take backs btw.
ok bye for now ~ 💗
but you're not
gonna right?
cool cool cool. i'll just... go assume that's a yes.
u're stuck w me. 4ever and ever 🤞
re-read my breakdown ↺