☁️ 🌧️ 💧 ☁️ 🤍 💧
a very sorry little one

i am really so sorry

— yes u, Amar 🤍 —

i'm not good at saying this out loud. so i built u somewhere quiet to hear it ~ take ur time with it. 🤍

it gets warmer further down ↓
✦ 01 · the honest part ✦

here's exactly what i did

no softer words for it. no spinning it. u deserve to hear me say it plainly first.

— the part i can't take back —

i said something i knew maybe would hurt u, and i said it anyways becoz of my feelings

And i forget it's ur birthday, ur day that was the worse part.

i'm not going to tell u i was tired, or stressed, or that u also said things. none of that is the point right now.

no "but" no "u also" no "i didn't mean it"

i was wrong. fully. that's the whole sentence ~

✦ 02 · your side of it ✦

i think it felt like this

the things u typed out and deleted. i've been imagining them all week.

you

u, probably 🤍

drafts u never sent

i wasn't even asking for much. i just wanted u to hear me.
the silence hurt more than the actual fight did.
i kept checking my phone. that's the embarrassing part.
i'm not even angry anymore. i'm just tired.
i heard all of it. even the ones u never sent. 🤍

i'm not guessing to look sweet ~ i'm guessing because i finally sat down and thought about u instead of me.

✦ 03 · not just words ✦

what actually changes

tap each one to hold me to it. sorry without this part is just noise ~

no more walking away mid-conversation. i'll say "i need a minute" out loud instead not like don't spam it looks harsh just say i need this much time ask for a day but say loud

when u tell me something that is clr I will understand ( pkka yr ) but esa bolkar it looks u want keep me down

no more silences , just go for 10 min by asking for proper space and then come back both of us

i am just little bit hurt and which will leads to build my anger and ur one word texts are enough for that to come up

Ur birthday is more imp for me than u and i genuinely planed to spend 2-3 hrs with u but unfortunately woh nhi ho paya tu aya that's big thing and i really appreciate yeh nj btana tha tujha pr meri disappointed sa pata chal gaya

0 ticked ~ take ur time, read them properly first

✦ 04 · the weather between us ✦

help me clear it ☁️

i can't move this one on my own. push the cloud ~ three times should do it.

☀️
☁️

👆 tap the cloud

it's been grey like this for days. i know i'm the reason.

✦ 05 · what i'm asking for ✦

this. this is the us i want back

i went looking through our photos last night. watch the colour come back into them ~

us, before all this

u laughing at something i said 🥹

an ordinary good day

nothing special. that's the point.

the easy version of us

when talking to me was easy ✦

the quiet ones

this one lives on my heart 🤍

i'm not asking u to pretend this week didn't happen ~ i'm asking for a shot at getting us back here, slowly, properly.

✦ 06 · the long version ✦

p.s. the whole thing

since i had u all the way down here ~

me, writing this

Pinky 💓

I don't want to end this ,on this note

not in the dramatic way ~ in the quiet way, i really apologize for my behaviour

here's the thing i actually want u to know:

i'm not sorry because u're upset with me or it's ur birthday it's one of the reasons but surely ...

i'm sorry because i made the safest person in my life feel unlove and u special for a bit. and that's not a small thing to me.

u don't owe me a reply today. or tomorrow. u don't owe me a "it's okay" just to make normal again.

take however long u need ~ i'll be right here ( zyada ni 2 hrs only )

and when u're ready, i'd really love to hug u about it.

i am sorry. i love u baby 😘

— akshu ✦

(this page stays up. so does the promise.)