☁️ 🌧️ 💧 ☁️ 🤍 💧

i am really so sorry

— yes u, ANUSHKA🤍 —

i'm not good at saying this out loud. so i built u somewhere quiet to hear it ~ take ur time with it. 🤍

it gets warmer further down ↓

✦ 01 · the honest part ✦

here's exactly what i did

no softer words for it. no spinning it. u deserve to hear me say it plainly first.

— the part i can't take back —

i said something i knew would hurt u, and i said it anyway because i wanted to win the argument more than i wanted u to feel okay.

no "but" no "u also" no "i didn't mean it"

i was wrong. fully. that's the whole sentence ~

✦ 02 · your side of it ✦

i think it felt like this

the things u typed out and deleted. i've been imagining them all week.

u, probably 🤍

drafts u never sent

i wasn't even asking for much. i just wanted u to hear me.

the silence hurt more than the actual fight did.

i kept checking my phone. that's the embarrassing part.

i'm not even angry anymore. i'm just tired.

i heard all of it. even the ones u never sent. 🤍

i'm not guessing to look sweet ~ i'm guessing because i finally sat down and thought about u instead of me.

✦ 03 · not just words ✦

what actually changes

tap each one to hold me to it. sorry without this part is just noise ~

no more walking away mid-conversation. i'll say "i need a minute" out loud instead.

when u tell me something hurt, my first sentence will be "u're right", not "well actually".

i'll bring it up first next time. u won't have to be the one who always starts the hard talk.

and if i slip ~ u can point at this exact page and i'll shut up and fix it.

no bringing up old fights to win a new one. that stops today.

phone down when u're talking. actually down, not face-down-but-still-checking.

i'll ask how u're doing about it a week later too, not just on the day i apologise.

0 ticked ~ take ur time, read them properly first

✦ 04 · the weather between us ✦

help me clear it ☁️

i can't move this one on my own. push the cloud ~ three times should do it.

☀️

☁️

👆 tap the cloud

it's been grey like this for days. i know i'm the reason.

i'm not asking u to pretend this week didn't happen ~ i'm asking for a shot at getting us back here, slowly, properly.

✦ 05 · the long version ✦

p.s. the whole thing

since i had u all the way down here ~

Hi I m genuinely sorry for everything I said and I was super rude to you and sbse pehle to glti meri thi meri side se misunderstanding rhi uske baad bhi mene sb kuch bol diya tune mujhe btaya hai apni tabiyat ke baare me and ki tujhe esa hota hai firbhi mene smjha nahi uske baad prabhat ko bhi beech me laya mujhe bilkul nhi Krna chahiye tha 🥀 araam se sort out hojata firbhi mene Boht badhi baat bnaadi fir tune beech me bola bhi tha ki choro koi nhi jaata khtm nhi krenge firbhi bhi me bolta gya 🥀 I m so sorry yr i wish I could send you flowers and gifts or etc and a hand written apology letter if I could I would have done a lots of things but I assure you when we meet irl I will apologise for everything I did and will give u a handwritten letter I will makeup for everything I said or did irl too because even if it is okay for you ki I have apologised online but I . Not okay untill I ask for forgiveness irl too I m so sorry and I will never repeat this mistake jo mene 4 din pehle kri i understand tujhe kesa lga hoga jb mene itna sb bola 🥀 I m genuinely sorry idk what more I can do online I m so sorry for not figuring out jldi and other ways to apologise I hope u forgive me 🥀 I m sorry I love you so much 🩷

-hathi

(this page stays up. so does the promise.)