i am really so sorry
I wish I could take back whatever I did to upset you, but since I can't, I promise to work on making sure it never happens again. I love you, and I am truly sorry.
here's exactly what i did
no softer words for it. no spinning it. u deserve to hear me say it plainly first.
— the part i can't take back —
I said somethings which hurt you, and I said it to win the argument more than I wanted you to feel okay, which is something my sensitive baby felt bad, shona.
then my stupid overthinking and making you feel bad.that was the worse part.
I'm not going to tell you I was tired, or stressed, or that I also said things.none of that is the point right now.
I was wrong. fully. that's the whole sentence ~
i think it felt like this
the things you typed out and deleted. I've been imagining them all day
You, probably 🤍
drafts u never sent
I'm not guessing to look sweet; I'm guessing because I finally sat down and thought about you instead of me.
what actually changes
tap each one to hold me to it. sorry without this part is just noise ~
No more cold shoulder
when we are not comfortable speaking about something we stop, we talk when we are fine
no more 2-day silences. worst case I text you, "I'm still upset but i'm here."
I'll bring it up first next time. You won't have to be the one who always starts the hard talk. But loosen up, I can't understand what you think
No more being stubborn about what happened. We be transparent as promised
help me clear it ☁️
I can't move this one on my own. push the cloud ~ three times should do it.
👆 tap the cloud
it's been grey like this for sometime, I know i'm the reason.
this. this is the us i want back
i went looking through our photos last night. watch the colour come back into them ~
First picture together 😻( black and white)
Manifesting
My imagination 💕
Just imagining us
i'm not asking u to pretend this didn't happen ~ i'm asking for a shot at getting us back here, slowly, properly.
p.s. the whole thing
since i had u all the way down here ~
hey u 🤍,
i've been carrying this around since it happened.
not in the dramatic way ~ in the quiet way, where i keep replaying the exact second i could've chosen better and didn't.
here's the thing i actually want u to know:
i'm not sorry because u're upset with me. i'd be sorry even if u'd forgiven me on the spot.
i'm sorry because i made the safest person in my life feel unsafe for a bit. and that's not a small thing to me.
u don't owe me a sorry, today or tomorrow. u don't owe me a "it's okay" just to make the air normal again.
take however long u need ~ i'll be right here, being better in the meantime, not just promising it.
and when u're ready, i'd really love to hug u about it.
i am sorry. i love u. both of those are true at once.
— me, still yours ✦
(this page stays up. so does the promise.)