🤍 i am sorry ~

✦ 01 · the honest part ✦

here's exactly what i did

no softer words for it. no spinning it. u deserve to hear me say it plainly first.

— the part i can't take back —

i hurt u in ways i should've understood sooner. i let my insecurities and fear of losing u affect how i treated u, instead of listening and trying to understand how u felt. i kept trying to fix things immediately, even when u needed space, and i didn't realise that my repeated apologies and promises were becoming empty words. i also left u without a word before, and i know i can't undo the hurt and confusion that caused. u deserved honesty, understanding, and consistency from me, not reasons to keep explaining how u felt. i can't change the past, and i'm not going to make excuses for it. i can only take responsibility for my actions and work on becoming better.

i kept letting my fear of losing u control how i acted. when u needed space, i struggled to give it to u because i was too busy being scared of what it meant for us.that was the worse part.

i understand now that my fear doesn't justify making u feel pressured. u deserved to have ur feelings heard and ur boundaries respected, without having to explain them over and over again.

no "but" no "u also" no "i didn't mean it"

i was wrong. fully. that's the whole sentence ~

✦ 02 · your side of it ✦

i think it felt like this

the things u typed out and deleted. i've been imagining them all week.

Sanu ❤️‍🩹

drafts u never sent

I wasn't asking for perfection. i just wanted to feel heard and understood.

when u left without a word, u left me with questions i never got answers to.

i kept explaining how i felt, hoping u would understand without me having to say it again.

i got tired of hearing promises when i couldn't see enough change.

i'm finally trying to understand ur side, not just explain mine. i'm sorry for the things u had to repeat, the feelings i failed to understand, and the hurt i caused. u deserved to feel heard ❤️‍🩹

i'm not writing this to look good or change ur mind. i'm writing it because i'm finally trying to understand how my actions made u feel, instead of only thinking about my own pain

✦ 03 · not just words ✦

what actually changes

tap each one to hold me to it. sorry without this part is just noise ~

i'll listen to understand u, not to defend myself. i'll stop assuming what u feel and actually ask u.

when u tell me i've hurt u, i'll listen without getting defensive or turning it into an argument..

i'll respect ur need for space without repeatedly messaging u or asking for reassurance because i'm scared of losing u.

i'll learn to handle my jealousy and insecurities without making them ur responsibility.

i'll stop making promises in the moment just because i'm afraid u'll leave. i'll focus on consistent actions instead.

i'll bring up problems calmly instead of letting misunderstandings, assumptions, or fear control my reactions.

i'll respect ur privacy and boundaries, including making sure my family doesn't contact u without ur consent.

i'll work on myself even when things between us aren't okay, because these changes need to be real, not just a way to get u back

0 ticked ~ take ur time, read them properly first

✦ 04 · the weather between us ✦

help me clear it ☁️

i know i can't undo the past. but i'm willing to work on myself and learn from my mistakes, one step at a time.

☀️

☁️

👆 tap the cloud

it's been grey like this for days. i know i'm the reason.

✦ 05 · what i still cherish 🤍 ✦

the little i'll always rememberthings

it's the little moments that meant the most. looking back, i realise how much i still have to learn about listening, understanding, and loving someone the way they deserve ~

little moments in a little world that meant so much to me 🤍

nothing special, just being there with u.

the little moments when everything felt easy✨️

just us, making memories without even realising it.

i'm not asking u to forget what happened or pretend everything is okay. these memories mean a lot to me, and i'm genuinely sorry for the ways i hurt u. i wish i'd understood sooner what u needed from me.

✦ 06 · the long version ✦

p.s. the whole thing

since i had u all the way down here ~

hey u 🤍,

i've been thinking about everything, and honestly, i wish i had understood things sooner.

i never wanted to become someone who made u feel unheard or tired of explaining ur feelings to me.

i know saying sorry can't undo what happened. i can't change the past

no matter how much i wish i could. all i can do is learn from it and become someone who handles things differently.

i miss u, and i miss our little moments more than i can explain

but i don't want my missing u to become another reason u feel pressured.

i still care about u deeply, sanu. i'm not expecting u to suddenly forgive me or pretend everything is okay. i just wanted to say what i should've understood and expressed much sooner.

thank u for the memories, the patience, and the moments u shared with me. i'm genuinely sorry for the times i hurt u.

I hope, someday, my actions will show u that i meant what i said.

— Y 🖤 ✦