ok but
whyyou? 🤔
i did a whole investigation ok 🔍
and somehow it always points back to u.
here's the receipts. (don't get a big head)
out of everyone...
why are you like
the one?
srsly. we ran tests. submitted exhibits 🥺
everyone else vs you
not to compare ppl but um yeah comparing ppl 💅
don't blame me, it just keeps happening.
most ppl
😶
give a polite hehe
— forgettable. moving on.
but you
🤣
do the silly snort thing
— and now i'm broken btw 🥹
most ppl
📵
"hey wassup nm u"
— ok bye forever 👋
but you
📱
paragraph at 2am abt a duck
— absolutely unwell. love it. 💜
most ppl
🫥
"oh that sucks lol"
— wow ty so fixed 🙃
but you
🌻
make me laugh so hard i forget
— like??? how??? 🥺
most ppl
🥱
'normal' (yawn)
— meh tier energy fr
but you
🌈
walk in & the room fixes itself
— scientifically unfair 🍃
you, but the stats
ran the diagnostics. these numbers are unhinged.
anyway hi limited edition unit 🫶
YOU
★ rare. 1 of 1. cute. ★
like, objectively, the math is not mathing 🥲
the way u think, the random facts u remember, the way u say my name when u're tired —
none of it should be this specific to me but it is.
so anyway. consider this ur official certification as my fav person on the whole planet 🌍
↳ no refunds. no exchanges. mine forever.
the visual proof
attached pls find: feelings 🥹
for ur consideration, your honor.
— the way u just sit there 🥹
— u, casually being u 💌
— look at this absolute menace (cute) 😤
— exhibit Z: the smile 💕
— this is allegedly just a person 🤨
★ irrefutable ★
officially, scientifically different
— certificate of being unfairly cute —
this hereby confirms that
you are not like the others 💕
after extensive vibe checks,
multiple late-night spirals,
and one (1) full investigation 🔍 —
we have officially concluded:
u are it. the rest is just background characters.
so yeah,
you're it. 💌
the whole list was just an excuse 🥹
tap that heart if u like me a normal amount
(i'll know what it means)