leaves me on read for 3 hours 😤
then sends a casual "hi 🥺" at 1am like nothing happened. the audacity is criminal.
file №007case open·· official case file ··
toxicbutcute
─── exhibit a: u 🥺 ───
warning: subject in question is dangerously cute
and somehow still my favorite person 😤
⚖️ list of crimes
the charges against u
ur honor, the prosecution has gathered irrefutable evidence. see exhibits below.
starts a fight at 11pm sharp 🌙
over something i said 5 days ago. has the memory of a govt database when it suits u.
says "i'm not hungry" 🍟
eats half my fries. i saw u. there's footage. submitted as evidence.
"do whatever u want" — it's a trap 🪤
i fell for it 4 times last week alone. judicial system has failed me.
picks the longest movie ever 🎬
falls asleep in 10 minutes. snores. wakes up. asks "wait what happened?" every single time.
ignores me all day 🫥
at 12:03am sharp: "i miss uuu 🥺". ma'am the timing. THE TIMING.
📷 the evidence wall
caught in 4k 📸
visual proof. timestamped. notarized. no escaping these 🥺
EXH · A
smiling like a menace 😈
— wed, 2:41pm
EXH · B
actually being nice 🥹
— rare. very rare.
EXH · C
the look 😩
— i never recovered
EXH · D
sleeping cute (illegal) 😴
— how dare u
EXH · E
sharing food (rare) 🍰
— mark the calendar
↳ photographic evidence presented to the court 🫶
📊 forensic analysis
official toxicity reading
slide it. measure the damage. be honest babe.
🥺
50%
balanced. cute with a side of chaos 🤍
angel 😇tolerable 🥺certified 😤
🩹 the defense
but ur honor... u're so cute 🥺
the defendant has, on numerous occasions, made my heart explode. submitted in the defendant's favor:
01🌷
plays w/ my hair when i'm sad
doesn't even say anything. just... knows. how do u know??
02📓
remembers my smallest rambles
i mentioned a snack ONCE 6 months ago. u showed up with it. who does that.
03📞
calls just to say "i miss u"
no agenda. no reason. just bc. completely melts me every time. unfair.
04☕
knows my coffee order
better than i do. better than the barista. somehow always exactly right. magical.
05🫂
biggest hugs at the worst days
the kind that fixes ur whole week. hospital-grade. medically necessary.
06😂
laughs at my dumbest jokes
not the polite kind. the actual snort-laugh kind. that's love behavior fr.
💊 the antidote
tap the love-pill 💗
the only known cure for ur cuteness. administer immediately.
─── prescription rx ───
0/ 50 doses
tap the pill to start treatment 🥺
⚠ side effects: butterflies, smiling for no reason
🔨 final verdict
the court's decision
after careful review of all charges, evidence, and defense...
─── findings ───
GUILTY
of being too damn cute for ur own good 🥺
sentence: stuck w/ me. forever. no parole. no appeals. no escape. ✦
signed, sealed, delivered ─
~ ur partner in crime 💌 ~